I started this morning with the mindful intention of letting go. It was well past dark last night, lying in stillness at the end of a vinyasa flow yoga class, that I felt my body so full. I have so much in my life. I need to let go. Let go of failures, embarrassments, and painful memories. Let go of relationships that are not life giving. Let go of self-set expectations and busyness for the sake of busyness. But mostly, let go of the quest for perfection. Let go of the quest for perfection.
This morning I had no immediate plans and as I come out of illness and regain strength I took this day to rest. I laid in bed well past the moment my eyes fluttered opened and thought of this place of stillness, this solitude that I'm cultivating within.
Eventually, I ambled up to my studio where I'm working to finish all the projects I started in 2012. It's an annual cleansing ritual and helps me start off a new year with inspiration. I picked up this quilt with the intent to seam rip it all and start over. See, I had been saving this fabric for years because I love it so. In a flash of motivation, I decided to make a quilt with a brown herringbone backing. I wasn't clear headed at the time and started out incorrectly, making so many mistakes as I went along. I know how to quilt, but for some reason, my mind and hands lacked coordination. It's been sitting in a pile, ashamed of my poor sewing, angry that I wasted this perfect piece of fabric.
So I sat down with it today, seam ripper in hand. I looked it over and over and paused. Putting the seam ripper down, I started sewing. Patterns and lines that go every which way, bunches and folds aplenty. Borders askew.
I do not need perfection any longer. I am needed, I am loved, and I am enough.